20 Things My Husband Doesnt Know I Do

We, by no means, encourage lying or not communicating with your husband but there are a few things that probably aren't necessary to broadcast or share with him. Here is a list of 20 things our husbands don't know about us. SHHHHH!

1. You may not realize it, but that wonderful homemade chowder is actually out of a can...a few cans actually. Thank you Campbell's soup and Mr. Crockpot.
2. I use your razor.
3. I wear spanx for family pictures or if I am trying to hide 10 pounds from his mother. My husband doesn't know what spanx are.
4. I fake a nap right before the dryer timer goes off. Folding avoided.
5. I eat junk food in the pantry. You think I only had one cookie after dinner. Truth is, I have zero self control and had three more while shamefully standing in our pitch black pantry.
6. I febreeze his clothes if he only wore them for a short time. 
7. If I've been home all day and he asks what I have been doing..."oh you know, just hanging out." I then proceed to run around the house like a child on 'toddlers and tiaras' who just had a mountain dew and clean 5 minutes before he walks in. He comes into a clean house and says, "Awe, the house looks nice." Wellllllll, "thanks babe, I've been working on it".
8. "Oh honey, these aren't leftovers"...as I pull last night's pork chops out of the oven covered with aluminum foil.
9. He thinks it's beef. No. It's lean turkey. (I'm still looking pleasantly pregnant with the child I gave birth to months ago.) We have to diet sometime!
10. I wear his basketball socks under my work pants in the winter. Those things are like long johns!!!
11. I wear his t-shirts around the house to be cute like those girls in the movie. Fail, fail, and more fail. I don't look cute. I look homeless.
12. I spray his cologne in the house when he's away with work. Yes, it's a waste of sprays when the cologne is $70. It's a comfort/coping mechanism.
13. Oh and when he's away with work I eat an Arby's cheddar melt and large fry...By myself...Like a grown lumberjack.
14. I definitely have not gained 5 pounds. It is water weight. END OF STORY.
15. Of course I have worked out today, dear!! (I cleaned the house...most of it)
16. I spritz on body spray before bed because I want him to think my natural pheromone smells of 'Japanese cherry blossom'.
17.  I roll my eyes whenever his sentence starts with "Well, my mom makes the best..."
18. I drink coffee as soon as my eyes are halfway open to avoid him smelling morning breath...I could brush my teeth. There's a thought, but no one wants to mix colgate and starbucks.
19. I secretly use his deodorant because it's stronger than womans.
20. I only had a salad for dinner because I had 5 miniature reese cups in the bathroom while I was "washing my hands" for dinner.  

                                         
        -Us :)